Ben and the Dragon

Back to the Oncologist

Ben

September 29th, 2023

We visited the oncologist again today to finally confirm the PET/CT scan results, and she told us that the results were “clear.” I’ll take that to be a good thing for now. However, I also left her office confused because immediately after she said the results were clear, she then started talking about taking out more lymph nodes.

So, now I’ve been told that my scan is clear, and they want to treat me with “immunotherapy” for the next year, but they still might want to take more lymph nodes? That feels like she’s telling me, without saying it directly, that she doesn’t trust the “clear” result of the scan, which makes me wonder if I should trust it? However, don’t forget that I’ve already mentioned this doctor and I do not communicate very well so far, so maybe I’m just missing something?

Fortunately, she has referred me to another oncologist, which she appears to hold in high regard, in a nearby city that so that we can get his opinion on the matter too. I hope communication with this second doctor will be easier and I’ll be able to get a more clear picture of what is actually going on. 🙂

Health Update

Doctor Visit, Hopeful, Optimistic
Plastic Surgeon & Goodbye Car

Ben

September 21st, 2023

Today, since it’s been two weeks, I sent the NP at the plastic surgeon an image of how my excision surgery wound is healing as she had requested. She said it is looking great.

So, I’ve been having to touch the wound (it has completely closed up at this point) when I have been applying the prescribed cream, and I’ve noticed while applying the medication that I have absolutely no feeling in that healed area. I cannot feel touch in the healed area. I’m curious if the nerves will grow back in time or if I’ll just always have a touch “dead zone” on that part of my leg now? 🙂

We were also notified today that the wrecked car has been deemed a total loss by the adjuster. That was probably the nicest car I’ve ever owned and the appraiser even made a special note that it was in excellent shape too, minus the new wreck damage. Goodbye car, I hope we can find an adequate replacement for you. 🙁

Health Update, Life Update

Optimistic, Sad
Catching Up

Ben

September 20th, 2023

This evening I had a chat with the father of one of my good friends. I think I would also consider us to be friends since I kind of grew up around him. We spent a little time catching up on what has been going on in both of our families and then talked a little bit about reconciliation. Specifically, about me trying to reconcile with one of my sisters who I’ve not communicated with in quite some time.

She and I had a falling out a while back and haven’t really spoken to each other directly since then. My friend and I talked about the perceived cause(s) of the rift between my sister and myself, and some possible ways to work on slowly getting back to a more functional sibling relationship. We’re planning to talk again after he’s spoken with my sister too, then maybe the three of us can all get together and start a healing dialog. 🙂

Life Update

Hopeful, Optimistic
Post Wreck Health Check

Ben

September 19th, 2023

I’m a little sore after the wreck so at the advice of several people, just to make sure everything inside of me is in good shape, I went in to get my back and neck checked out this morning. The doctor told me that everything looks fine and the soreness is to be expected after being hit from behind. He also told me to make sure to let him know if the pain gets worse instead of better after a few weeks have passed.

Secondarily, he asked me how my leg was healing and if I had spoken to the oncologist since the PET scan. I told him that we had not had any contact with that doctor since before the scan and we are still waiting to hear back about the scan results. Now, I don’t want to get anyone’s hopes up too high, my own included, but he offered to tell me the scan results. After I told him I would like to hear the result, he said that according to what he saw in the system, the scan came back clear. 🙂

I do realize that in the computer system it is quite possibly just a yes/no type of report result that he could tell me about, but just in case there’s more to it than that, I will wait until we hear back from the oncologist before celebrating that result… but it sure sounds good to me right now. 🙂

Health Update

Doctor Visit, Hopeful, Optimistic
Car Wreck

Ben

September 17th, 2023

Today, on my way home from an activity with the wife and kids (I drove separately), I was rear-ended by a lady in a jeep who was apparently not paying attention to the road. Fortunately we’re both OK physically but she hit me hard enough that she broke her axle and tore the heck out of my trunk. I can only guess at what happened on that lady’s end of things but whatever it was, she was highly distracted until the last moment when she apparently tried to swerve to keep from hitting me, but it was too late.

So, this is how it went from my perspective:
I was sitting stopped in the road with my left turn signal on and waiting for oncoming traffic to clear so I could turn. Suddenly and with great force I was pushed forward several feet and was covered in fizzy Diet Coke from the can I had in my cup holder.

As soon as I was done being stunned at the surprise of it all, I got out quickly and ran back to make sure the other driver was OK. She let me know she wasn’t hurt and a man that had been planning to turn right where I was turning left had stopped and gotten out of his vehicle to check on us both. After making sure we were both OK, he said he would call in to the 911 dispatch and let them know that he was a willing witness if they needed one to help resolve any dispute that might arise in this incident.

I called the police to report the collision and while we were waiting for them to arrive, I got the OK from the dispatcher to move the vehicles off to the side of the road. The officers were there in under five minutes (Wow, nice response time!) and took our information and then helped us do a quick inspection of the vehicles to see if we would need to tow them. The Jeep was deemed not able to be driven because an axle appeared to be broken and leaking fluid. My vehicle, though smashed pretty badly in back was deemed able to be driven far enough to get home, which was only two more blocks.

I was given a police report number but was not given any contact or insurance details about the other driver, so I guess I’m going to have to obtain that from the police report as soon as I can get a copy of it. I’m thankful that nobody was hurt, at least not in any way that was immediately noticeable, but gosh this makes for an unhappy way to end the day! 🙁

The aftermath

Life Update

Frustrated, Sad
PET Scan Day

Ben

September 13th, 2023

I went in for the PET scan this morning. They injected me with some radioactive sugar and then while it distributed throughout my body, they left me alone for an hour in a very warm room, laid back in a reclining position. If you know me at all, then you know that I almost instantly fell asleep under those conditions! 🙂 I heard myself snoring a bit as I drifted in and out of a light sleep, but the sleeping made that hour feel like only a few minutes before they came and got me for the scan.

The PET scan was not quite as I had expected. Yes, I had to lay down and not move a muscle for about 25 minutes on a flat “board” as it passed me back and forth through the machine. I expected a lot of rotational noise as the scan was progressing, but really it was very quiet. So if there was something passing around me, I was unable to hear it. I hope the scan results come back soon and that I receive a good report! We’ll see in a few weeks when we go back to the oncologist.

Health Update

Doctor Visit, Hopeful, Optimistic
Another Checkup at the Plastic Surgeon

Ben

September 11th, 2023

I went in for another checkup at the plastic surgeon’s office today. The NP said everything is healing up nicely and recommended that I continue using the cream the dermatologist had talked to her about since it appeared to be making a positive difference. She also told me that I don’t need come in for weekly checkups anymore so she wants me to call and possibly have me send an image of my wound to them in two weeks, and then my next visit with her is scheduled a month out from today.

Health Update

Doctor Visit, Optimistic
First Post Operation Visit With the Excision Surgeon

Ben

September 8th, 2023

Today I met with the surgeon who performed my excision surgery back in early July so he could see how things were healing up and address any questions I had. Since I have so far been unable to get adequate answers about the human lymph system from medical personnel (or the internet), I decided to try my luck asking the surgeon for a layman’s description of my lymph node biopsy results.

I asked him to explain how lymph nodes are arranged in the body. He explained that they are not necessarily in a specific order and they are kind of bunched up with the possibility of more than one being connected to each other. He also said that although he would love to tell me finding cancer in one node and not the other means that it was only in the “first” node, that is really not the case. Since the nodes are clustered and generally there is a primary, but there is not necessarily a defined order after that, more than one lymph node could count as a secondary node. This is why the oncologist wants me to have the PET scan next week, so they can see if there are any more lymph nodes with cancer in my leg (or any further into me.)

The surgeon also mentioned that if they find more cancer cells, they may go in and remove all the remaining lymph nodes in my leg. I asked him if this would cause more of the swelling (lymphedema) I’ve been dealing with since losing the two nodes they removed during surgery, and his answer was yes. So I followed up that question with “Do lymph nodes grow back?” to which his answer was (his words, not mine):

“No, they will never grow back and if we take the rest of them out you will have horrible swelling in your leg for the rest of your life. Additionally, your immune system on your right side will be permanently compromised.”

This is pretty terrible news for me… With only two nodes removed, I was barely able to move my toes due to the excessive amount of swelling I had until my system was thankfully able to mostly recover and “redirect” itself through the remaining lymph nodes. With the removal of the remaining eight nodes and subsequently no chance for recovery from the then guaranteed severe lymphedema, it appears this procedure, if done, would be permanently debilitating.

Now I am really hoping this removal procedure is not something they end up recommending because I absolutely cannot go through with that option, no matter what. I cannot become an invalid, unable to walk and move around on my own or even drive. I would become a constant and huge burden to my family for the rest of my life, no matter how long (or short) that is. I just can’t. I’m sorry. I know how that sounds and what it implies, but I have no savings, no medical insurance, no 401k, etc., and if I end up no longer able to go to work, I’ll have no way to provide for my family while they are trying to take care of me.

Health Update

Doctor Visit, Pessimistic
Medicated Cream

Ben

September 7th, 2023

I got a call from the NP at the plastic surgeon’s office this afternoon. Apparently my dermatologist had spoken with her and recommended they prescribe a specific medicated cream to put on my wound each time I change the dressing to help the healing process. So, I hit up CVS on the way home from work to pick up the prescription and my oh my that cream better be amazing… the stuff cost me about $95.00 for a 45 gram tube! But, I guess if it gets me closer to not needing to change wound dressings twice a day, maybe it’s worth it? 🙂

Health Update

Hopeful
Post Operation Visit With the Dermatologist

Ben

September 5th, 2023

Back to the dermatologist today. She checked my surgery wound and said that everything was looking pretty good. She then checked me over for any signs of melanoma anywhere else on my person, now that we’ve gotten the removal of the initial spot out of the way. She said she did not find anything, so that is a relief.

Health Update

Doctor Visit, Optimistic